Can Pepper HotPants Get Some?
May 15, 2010
Hiiiii, (*exhausted beauty queen, mascara streaking wave*) I’ve been on a semi-world tour promoting things that I do that I can’t fully divulge here because then well, my real identity might be revealed… But that’s neither here nor there. The fact of the matter is all this work and all this traveling has sadly left me like the Sahara (if you get my drift) … Before I left for London, I wrote this email to my girls:
“Dear Girlies, ideally I’d like to spend the next year writing about my many trysts with lots of lovers, a few in London (that won’t tell my future husband there), an older European man with a chizzled handsome face and lean body, a 24 year old “young back” cuz they put in work, a civilian with a non- offensive uniform (more fire fighter than fast food), Idris Elba, Marlo & Avon from “The Wire” <– all at the same time (I will call that chapter my “celebrity clusterfuck”).”
The fact of the matter is NONE of that happened on tour…(*kicking boulders*) And I’m quite pissed about it! What the hell? Did someone send out a PSA: No action for PHP! Dammit. So I get home to the reality of my non-existent “love come down” situation and revel in my options, which are as follows:
The Indian man who works the overnight shift at the local bodega. He always catches me looking like walk a shame material in the middle of the night on my way to get a sandwich. He also always has an awfully disgusting perverted painted on smile.
The fiiiiiiiine, engaged, long talker that lives downstairs. I’ve seen him during the day, so… not.sure.that.he.works. Yet I see his soon-to-be wife only after work hours. They have one of the smaller apartments on the north wing, so I have to wonder if he’s trying to upgrade - apartment wise.
Trey Songz (maybe he and I can meet up on tour - swoon!)
Craigslist.
The stark, dark reality. What is a girl to do? I’m a 20-esque looking 38 year old (no seriously, really!! I have to thank my mother for these lengthy legs and flawless skin). I’m smart. I’m fit. I’m active in my community sometimes. And I’m traveling all over the world, yet in still, I can’t get any!
Have I been blacklisted from the “I just want to f*ck every girl in the world” list?
Is some man scared I’ll write about our sexual escapades on this website (I will and I will looooove giving you a nickname based on what you do and how you do it :)?
Am I doing something wrong?
Starting right this minute I’m going to be more proactive on my quest for a bedfellow. I promise to let you know how my adventures go.
Until next time…
PHP
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All My Single Ladies… Halle?
May 8, 2010
Just two years after the birth of their daughter it seems that another celebrity couple has bit the dust. Earlier this week it was announced that Halle Berry and her babyfather Gabriel Aubry decided “together to separate at this time.”
Gasp! Never saw that one coming. They were so low key… The inside and outside of their relationship was not typical tabloid fodder so of course, one has to wonder, what the hell happened? And how long have they really been broken up?
Regardless we hope the best for their child first and foremost.
Jennifer Hudson Expecting…
June 8, 2009
According to the Chicago Tribune, Jennifer Hudson is with child. Add the award winning singer to a grand ole list of celebrities who have either given birth in the last year (Kimora) or are on their way to the delivery room in just a matter of time (Kelis).
The newspaper is reporting that Jennifer had a baby shower in her hometown of Chicago earlier this month and is due more sooner than later. For more, click here.
Congratulations to her and her fiance.
Denzel Washington, Cameron Diaz To Present @ MTV Movie Awards
May 12, 2009
Denzel and Cameron will be joined by fellow presenters Lil’ Wayne, Vanessa Hudgens and Will Ferrell for this year’s MTV Movie Awards which will take place live at the Gibson Amphitheater in Universal City, CA on May 31, 2009 at 9:00pm.
Eminem will hit the stage performing new music from his upcoming album Relapse and the event will be hosted by Adam Samberg.
For the opportunity to vote in a movie category, log on to www.MovieAwards.MTV.com.
Chrisette Michele “Epiphany” $2.99
May 5, 2009
We have no idea why but Chrisette Michele’s CD download Epiphany is $2.99 on Amazon at post time. Yes, the entire new album on the actual release date. Perhaps the music makers have taken a recession pity on what’s left of the music buying public or maybe Def Jam really wants to move units this week (especially with Ciara releasing Fantasy Ride today as well)…
Either way, we enjoy a Chrisette Michele with her Grammy Award winning singing and fierce hair cut. So get yours now while the getting is good. Just click here for Chrisette Michelle Epiphany for $2.99.
It’s a Boy!!!
April 21, 2009
We hear congratulations is due to Jill Scott and hubby to be Lil Jon Roberts. The couple gave birth to a bouncing baby boy on April 20 at 4:20pm. The child’s name is Jett Hamilton Roberts and he weighed in at 7.8 lbs. We wish the happy couple all the best… Well that leaves, Kimora, Kelis, and now Ellen Pompeo is also basking in that big belly mix.
Politics, Pirates & Portuguese H2O Dogs
April 13, 2009
The First Family got their dog!
Michelle Obama is off limits… according to All Hip Hop.
Cuba travel restrictions lightened by Obama.
The other side of this Pirate debacle.
And more on the Pirates from Somali rapper K’Naan.
He Said, She Said: Hot Hollywood Stories
April 6, 2009
Mel B defines MILF with her new burlesque/peep show.
Naomi Campbell talks about racism in the fashion industry.
Gisele Bundchen & Tom Brady Get Married Again amongst gun shots.
Chris Brown is scheduled for arraignment today.
He Said, She Said: Hip-Hop Hollywood Stories
March 30, 2009
Did Kelly Rowland get dropped from Columbia Records?
Jennifer Hudson sets secret wedding date with fiance David Otunga, (aka “Punk” from “I Love New York”)…
Rhashida Jones of “The Office” and spawn of the musical great Quincy Jones and actress Piggy Lipton is set to star in her own comedy “Celeste and Jesse Forever.”
Necole Bitchie takes ten minutes with Brooke of “Harlem Heights” where the budding reality star talks about her relationship with fellow cast member Christian, her former “vout” with Kanye West, and his new girlfriend.
Ladies of Hip-Hop represent and are represented tonight at Rutgers University.
Splitsville? Rachel Roy & Damon Dash
March 25, 2009
Yesterday New York Newspapers were buzzing with the news that fashion designer Rachel Roy has filed for a divorce from husband, former Roc-A-Fella Records executive, Damon Dash. The couple have been married for four years and have two daughters.
According to the Daily News, the reason documented for the divorce is “nonmonetary relief.” Not sure what kind of relief that is but this is just another nail in the coffin for Dash who is being sued six ways to Sunday, had his SUV repossessed, and two of his condos have started going through foreclosure procedures. SMH.
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